What does a woman and carpet have in common? if you lay them right the first time you can walk all over them later

why are womens feet so small? So they can stand closer to the stove

How are women and a pile of dog crap alike? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up !!!!!!!!!!

How do we know that God is a man? If God was a woman, semen would taste like chocolate.

Want to hear a joke? Women’s rights

What do you do when the dish washer is broken? Slap her on the ass and tell her to get to work.

Why did the woman cross the road? It doesnt matter, why was she out of the kitchen in the first place.

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin, you done told her twice.

why cant women ski? because theres no snow between the bedroom and the kitchen.

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman? The back of my hand.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Why don’t women need a watch? There’s a clock on the stove.

Did you know there are female hormones in beer? If you drink too it makes you talk crap and drive horrible.

Why do they call it PMS? Cause mad cow disease was already taken.