Why did God invent yeast infections?
So that women know what it’s like to live with an irritating cunt.

How do you get a fat girl into bed?
Piece of cake.

What’s it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
Marriage.

What’s the difference between an onion and a dead hooker?
I cry when I cut up onions.

What has 8 legs and makes girls scream?
Gang rape.

What’s the difference between a smear test and rape?
Women hate smear tests.

What’s the difference between a washing machine and a 18-year-old girl?
The washing machine won’t follow you around for 2 weeks after you drop a load in it.

What’s the smartest thing to have come out of a woman’s mouth?
Einstein’s cock.

Whats the difference between a woman and a computer?
You only have to punch the information into a computer once.

What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
Slobberdownmycockyoubitch.

What’s the best thing about kinky sex?
Wiping the blood off the hammer.

Whats black and blue and full of protein?
A rape victim.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes and a broken nose?
Nothing: She must be deaf

What’s the first thing a beaten wife should do after coming back from hospital after the last “incident”?
The dishes, if she knows what’s good for her.

What is the worst thing you can say to a woman?
“Don’t let this rape turn into a murder.”

What’s tough enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.

Why did God give women one more brain cell than cows?
So when you play with their tits, they don’t shit on the ground.