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Be a Man and Make the First Move


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Listen, if you can’t capture a woman’s attention from across the room, or get a girl to undress you with her eyes, practically begging you to make a move, you need to “Locate your Scrotum and be a man!” This just means you are too timid for your own good. Alternatively, if you’re throwing out the vibes, getting her attention and you continue staring at the woman without making a move you will start to seem creepy. You can’t build attraction, pussy out and not make a move on her. All it shows her is that you have a lack of confidence and this will turn her off and she will be less receptive if you ever do get around to talking to her. Every overweight, hairy, ass-crack-showing 45-year old dude will tell you your roll as a man is to “BE A MAN.” This sounds absurd, but think about what I am saying. As a man there are certain expectations that women expect if you want to be successful with them.

I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir here, so to keep from insulting your intelligence I’m going to assume that you realize what your roll is, as a man, and that you know that you can’t pounce on a chick before she’s ready for it. Instead, I am going to talk about what some readers may be having trouble with, which is, how to get that Heidi Klum look-a-like with the moist panties to go home with them. Hiss can be done by following one of the rules I live by which is:

Making the move is the easy part, the culmination of everything you’ve done right up to that point. So focus your energy on what leads up to making a move, and not making the move itself.

As long as you live, don’t ever forget that. But let’s not kid ourselves, you already knew that, it’s just a matter of how clearly you saw it.

My Experience

Before I learned how to get laid I always wondered about stupid questions like when to make the first move. After a while I realized the question was irrelevant…it’s like asking when’s the right time to get drunk after pounding a twelve-pack…it’ll just happen, now quit whining and have another drink. Just like being drunk is the result of a series of events that may or may not involve keg stands or body shots. Making a move is just the natural result of a flow of events leading to an encounter. If your flow is messed up, you’ve got bigger problems to work on than wracking your brain for the answer to “when should I make a move on this chick?”

Unfortunately, like I used to, a lot of guys focus on looking out for signs that its cool to make a move when they should really be focused on building attraction to the point that she might as well hold a sign that says,

“DO ME!”


So, like many guys, I never brought out that level of attraction in a woman before. I thought there was some hidden sign that I was missing because every time I tried to make a move, the women somehow weren’t interested. In reality their lack of interest meant was that these women weren’t ready.

Our Problem as Men

As men, our number one problem with understanding women is that we’re too Goddamn smart. You see, we think getting laid is tough, we put so much weight on it and obsess over it to the point that some of us retreat into a 10×10 bedroom, sipping cola, playing some bullshit fantasy game where you can be a fucking wizard and save the sexy, but computer generated woman from the Orc or whatever the fuck you weirdoes call that shit. Those guys might as well be tucking their sack back and putting some rouge on their cheeks, because they will probably get laid easier that way. Seriously, pull your head out of your ass guys, you weren’t born to be cooped up in a fucking bedroom all day masturbating to fantasies of 3-dimensional video game characters. Maybe because it’s been so long since you’ve seen a real woman without her clothes, the cheat codes and wizard spells you’ve memorized are clouding your memory of what a naked chick really looks and feels like. You know who you are…

For the love of God, please understand that getting laid, though it can be a challenge from time to time with the right girl, is generally pretty easy. To put this in perspective let me pose a question…have you ever tried to play polo, or cricket….? How good do you think you’d be if you tried…..? I can tell you…you’d probably suck…This is because you don’t know the rules or how to play the game. So how do you expect to roll out of your bed, put down your World of Warcraft special edition stuffed goblin, walk out your door and get laid? You need to learn the rules of the game first, once you do that, and a little later on down the road, I’ll key you in on some little secrets that will improve your chances with women.

Until then, keep in mind that the purpose of these articles is to entertain, and maybe even get you laid now and then. So everything we cover here is a lead up to making the move, whether that move involves getting the phone number, the kiss, or laying pipe, the move itself is nothing, it’s what you do on the way there that matters.

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2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 god_hot // Mar 10, 2008 at 8:45 am

    Do Me!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 2 dirty sanchez // Mar 12, 2008 at 6:01 am

    I will. Goddamn I will.

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